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As opposed to a condition of being out and longing for, which actually I think is quite true for many, many people.

But yeah, it was important for me to name, in part, because there’s this assumption, I think, particularly in Black history that leaving the south is a kind of escape. And part of what I write about is that my dad, interestingly, was the one who was just always like, ” got to find a way to go home, to spend a significant amount of time every year, like you need to be there in the Summer.” Like he was very insistent and I think it was because he knew that I needed that kind of sustenance for what I was trying to do in my life. And lived with a sense of homesickness through my coming of age, that is not easily resolved. I think I chose the word, I wasn’t cognizant of it but I have always carried a bit of maybe resentment isn’t the right word, but a home sickness about being taken out of the South as a child.

It’s just the bone to pick is not with me. And feeling like I know that in many instances, the issue for me is not that there’s not a bone to pick. So whiteness is not actually producing the kind of security and the society. And think about it from the perspective also of working class and poor white Southerners who do have a legitimate bone to pick with the society about how hard working they have been and not actually reaping, in many ways what has been called the wages of whiteness.

And trying to be in that moment fully and actually think about it. So there’s all this physical vulnerability and now he’s driving around doing ride sharing and our relative positions, and he is of a generation where the odds are good that there was an ideology, like a deep ideology of white supremacy, and he is in many ways in a position, more vulnerable than I am at the moment. And I was thinking, and knowing from people who I’m close to the physical impact of working in the mines. Like so to think about if I take a man who drove me in a Lyft to my auntie’s house who had been working, an elderly white man who had told me he worked in the mines for 30 years. I wanted to actually have encounters that try to move through that information with more delicacy than I certainly do in my sort of more conventional academic work.